Dependable Renegade

'TANK'? Your publicist is named 'TANK'?

From the NY Post:

THE battle between Levi Johnston . . . and Sarah Palin isn't over yet. Johnston -- best known for impregnating the former vice-presidential candidate's daughter, Bristol -- "is shopping a book," his bodyguard/publicist, Tank, tells New York magazine.

I GO OUT FOR THE DAY AND THIS HAPPENS??!

Jesus, remind me never to go to the Guggenheim and then to theater...

Speaking on MSNBC, Andrea Mitchell reported that, according to "people very close to Sarah Palin," she has "told her supporters that she is out of politics, period. She is fed up with politics. She doesn't like her life. She feels that she needs to raise her family. She's sick of the commute from Wasilla to the capital. And she really does not want to run for higher office, that this is not a case where she is stepping down in order to clear the way for a presidential run. In fact, she has told some of her biggest backers in the national Republican Party that they are free to choose other candidates for 2012, which of course opens new avenues for Mitt Romney, for Tim Pawlenty, for other potential candidates who are definitely in the running."

So what's the real story?

So. About that flag DESECRATION...

Flag code violations...

[h/t GreenT]

Michael Wolff is scared of strong, rich women.

Get emasculated much, Michael?

Women everywhere seem to like Jenny Sanford. But her husband doesn’t. That much we know: Mark Sanford may be going back to her, but he’s dying to get rid of her.

And, truly, what man wouldn’t want to?

It should be noted that Mr. Wolff has had more than his fair share of philandering...

[h/t res ipsa loquitur]

Yeah, this is my daily prayer, pretty much.

[h/t twolf]

I believe we had a request

for red pandas?

Who knew they were gray as bebes?

Um, Republicans? God would like a word with you.

Over at the Lake.  Next to the burning bush.

I smell a conspiracy!

ARGENTINE ants taking over the world?!

A single mega-colony of ants has colonised much of the world, scientists have discovered.

Argentine ants living in vast numbers across Europe, the US and Japan belong to the same interrelated colony, and will refuse to fight one another.

The colony may be the largest of its type ever known for any insect species, and could rival humans in the scale of its world domination.

EEEK!

Who's got the fork?

It needs to be stuck in Sanford.

COLUMBIA, S.C. — South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford has backed out of a promise to release personal financial records proving he did not use state money for trips to see his mistress.

On a somewhat related note, I'm seriously going to take a hostage if I hear one more guy say, "Oh, Sanford should just pack up and go to Argentina." I'm lookin' at you, Josh Marshall.

People, people, people. Don't make me say this again. This shit is Psych 101.

Last time I checked,there were TWO people in this "torrid" romance (not counting the wife). Sanford may "seem to be deeply in love with this woman" but that does not mean that she is equally "deeply in love" with him. And I'm willing to bet that she has been perfectly content having these ultra long-distance dalliances with Sanford, because this way, it keeps the romance "fresh" and within the realm of "fantasy." For god's sake, she's dating other men! Why the fuck would she want Sanford mooning and writing godawful poetry around her 24/7?

In other words, it seems awfully presumptuous (and chauvinistic) to look at this solely from Sanford's perspective. There is another person with independent feelings in the relationship, even though Sanford the narcissist (and the men who think he should pack up and move) may think that only his feelings matter.

If that's too tough to contemplate, think of it this way: why do you think they call them 'vacations'?

[/soapbox]

ADDENDUM: Okay, here's another way to look at it: Would you want the guy who very publicly made you the punchline to a REALLY bad joke moving in with you?

Eli writes in email: It's quite possible that he's in South Carolina and NOT in Argentina because Maria's just not that into him.

Hard for a narcissist to believe, but true.

Just because it would piss her off.

Let me guess:

the working title is "Crossing the Ultimate Line: How to Sex Up Your Argentine Hottie and Humiliate Your Sugar Mama Wife"?

COLUMBIA, South Carolina (CNN) – Mark Sanford has been working on a book, according to his wife Jenny, but Sanford's political team is so far keeping quiet about it.

Was the book meant to be a platform for Sanford to travel the country in advance of a 2012 presidential bid? No one is saying.

Last Friday, Jenny Sanford told the Associated Press that her husband told her when they separated that he needed to get away to clear his head and work on writing a book. Sanford, though, went to Argentina to visit his mistress against his wife's wishes.

"I had every hope he was not going to see her," she told the AP.

In a brief e-mail message to CNN, she said any details about the book need to be discussed with the governor.

But Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer would not elaborate. "I don't have any details for you about that," he said.

Jon Lerner, Sanford's top political adviser in Washington, also refused to comment Tuesday when asked if Sanford is writing a book.

UPDATE: Oh, maybe he'll call it "The Two Objects of My Affection".

I guess God had a leaky faucet or something...

But you'd think he'd get a better plumber:

in a new interview with WorldNetDaily, Wurzelbacher said that he now isn’t planning to run because God doesn’t want him to:

Asked if he has plans to run for public office, he replied, “I hope not. You know, I talked to God about that and he was like, ‘No.’”

He continued, “I believe he’s gotten me on this grassroots movement. If I can encourage leaders to step up, that’s what I would like to do. That’s a heavy role. That’s something I don’t know if I am prepared to do yet.”

But Wurzelbacher said he will keep that door open if God ever calls him to be that leader.

And speaking of virulent narcissism...

Somebody get the hook and pull this moron off the stage:

Meghan McCain hasn't even released her first book, but she's already planning the movie version.

"I want Hilary Duff to play me. I think she's really hot - hotter than me - but I'd still want her to play me," Sen. John McCain's daughter confided to us at the Trevor Project's summer gala on Monday night at Capitale.

But the young Republican isn't dead set on Duff. "Really, I'd take anyone who's blond," she joked, adding that one actor in particular would certainly be welcome to join the cast. "Bradley Cooper is so hot," McCain swooned. "If he can be in it, he will. I'm obsessed with [his film] 'The Hangover!'"

I'll never forgive Columbia for giving her a degree. Say, Meghan, have you met Mark Sanford?

"My Maria, my love, her two parts

heaving and glistening in the moonlight..."

AP

As bmaz said, "Oh, yeah, this will end well":

During an emotional interview at his Statehouse office with The Associated Press on Tuesday, Sanford said Chapur is his soul mate but he’s trying to fall back in love with his wife.

Too bad he only fell in love with her money the first time around.

Man, I hope this is real.

see more Political Pictures

[h/t Plum P]

Please shut yer piehole already.

Another one suffering from virulent narcissistic personality disorder. Let's see her challenge Obama to a game of hoops, since she was a "basketball star":

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) — Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin says she'd come out ahead if she went one-on-one with fellow jogger President Barack Obama in a long run, according to an interview published online Tuesday.

"I betcha I'd have more endurance," she told Runner's World magazine.

Low rent Playboy pictorial at the link.

[h/t snuffella]

Take your seat, SENATOR FRANKEN!

Norm Coleman concedes!

Just like Billie Jean.

They met on the dance floor:

He said he met her two other times — their first meeting in 2001 at an open-air dance spot in Uruguay and a coffee date in New York in 2004 during the Republican National Convention.

I love closure.

P.S. I told you there were others...

Oooh, the new phone book is here!

The McCain campaign goes full metal jacket on Sarah Palin.

TASTY!

Shorter Mark Sanford:

Eat it, South Carolina. You're gonna keep paying my salary.

I write to apologize and ask for your forgiveness.

Well beyond the personal consequences within my own family, I know that at so many different levels my actions have upset, offended and disappointed friends and supporters and for this I am most sorry. As I mentioned in last week's press conference, I've always believed God's laws were there to protect us from ourselves, and what has transpired over this last week vividly illustrates the damage that comes personally, and to those you love and respect, in doing otherwise.

So in the aftermath of this failure I want to not only apologize, but to commit to growing personally and spiritually. Immediately after all this unfolded last week I had thought I would resign - as I believe in the military model of leadership and when trust of any form is broken one lays down the sword. A long list of close friends have suggested otherwise - that for God to really work in my life I shouldn't be getting off so lightly. While it would be personally easier to exit stage left, their point has been that my larger sin was the sin of pride. They contended that in many instances I may well have held the right position on limited government, spending or taxes - but that if my spirit wasn't right in the presentation of those ideas to people in the General Assembly, or elsewhere, I could elicit the response that I had at many times indeed gotten from other state leaders.

Their belief was that if I walked in with a real spirit of humility then this last legislative term could well be our most productive one - and that outside this term, I would ultimately be a better person and of more service in whatever doors God opened next in life if I stuck around to learn lessons rather than running and hiding down at the farm.

They have also made the point that a good part of life is about scripts - that the idea of redemption isn't something that Marshall, Landon, Bolton and Blake should just read about, it's something they should see. Accordingly, they suggested that there was a very different life script that would be lived and learned by our boys, and thousands like them, if this story simply ended with scandal and then the end of office - versus a fall from grace and then renewal and rebuilding and growth in its aftermath.

I won't belabor all these points, but I did want to write as expressed earlier to say that I'm sorry and that more than anything I personally ask for your prayers for me, Jenny, the boys and so many others who have been impacted by what I have done.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Take care.

Mark

I'm not entirely sure how keeping your job and not really paying any kind of consequence other than living at the governor's mansion apart from your family constitutes "redemption", but what do I know? I'm not a Republican religious whackjob.

Ross Douchehat and Dana Milquetoast

remake "The Crying Game" over at the Lake.

"Jeez, is it 5:00 yet? NEXT!"

Lindsey Graham, Godfather.

No, not that kind. THIS kind!

[twolf strikes again!]

If Mark Sanford were a LOLcat...

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Ah, the Vagina Dentata Kiddie Slide.

Scars kids for life!

see more Fail Blog

Welcome to Lindsey Graham's not-so-subconscious.

Thomas Lohnes/AFP/Getty Images

Not that there's anything wrong with that...

This from the guy who described a high school girl

who actually wanted to sleep with him as a "chunkier Reese Witherspoon" who "masticated his face and neck"...

Better, perhaps, if this dynamic were reversed. Our meritocrats could stand to leaven their careerism with a little more romantic excess. (Though such excess is more appropriate in the young, it should be emphasized, than in middle-aged essayists and parents.) But most Americans, particularly those of modest means, would benefit from greater caution and stability in their romantic entanglements.

Shut up, Ross, and go back to masturbating on your copy of "Atlas Shrugged".

P.S. Oh, and would it kill you to actually have consistency in your arguments? Just asking.

Dana Milbank is a dick.

The fact that Nico Pitney has foolishly encroached on the Beltway Boys' turf is obviously grounds for his crucifixion.

Says Nico:

The only thing that surprised me was when Dana turned to me after our initial sparring and called me a “dick” in a whispered tone (the specific phrase was, I believe, “You’re such a dick”).

No, Dana. YOU'RE the dick. Seriously. If you can't take the heat, get out of the smoking jacket.

[Smokin'DickDana courtesy twolf]

"And now for Psalm 24: FREEZE, MOTHERFUCKER!"

REUTERS/Ed Reinke

Well, wasn't THIS a surprise to come home to!

Happy Pride Day to my gay friends and neighbors!

May New York finally wake the fuck up and provide marriage equality to EVERY citizen of the state.

"OFF the counter! Bad kitty."

[h/t Plum P]

A perfect Sunday morning...

see more Fail Blog

*Sigh*

Panda . . . or ewok?

[this one's for El Gato Negro!]

Best. Hate mail. EVAR!

Markos is so lucky. Take the poll afterward.

dear socialist fuckstick,

i am well awear of the fact that liberals are immune to logic and reason, but allow me to try to prove to you that you are communist scum thrugh something called the scientific method:

1 a) FACT: you suck obamas cock every chance youget. you defend everythign he does and says and you are nothing more than an apologist. this makes you complicit in obamas actions.

1 b) FACT: obama is a well known socialist. this is evident his policies and his love of SELFDESCRIBED COMMUNISTS LIKE BILL AYERS!!!! so dont thinkthat he can hide his true nature for much longer. he will eventully be exposed and impeached. SOCIALISM CANNOT WORK OR RUSSIA WOULD STILL EXIST AND THEY WOULD NEVER HAVE LOST THE COLD WAR TO REAGAN!!! retard.

1 c) you are thusly a pro forma socialist; whether you like it or not. logic dictates this.

(2) FACT: you, sir, are a illegal immigrant. i dont give two shits whether you are an american citizen or not: you came here on taxpayer expense and you continue to drain our limited resources. you should be ashamed and go back to guatemala or whatever fucking middleeastern asshole you came from and try to sell yor leftwing bullshit there.

(3) FACT: you are also OBJECTIVELY ANTIAMERICAN!!!!!!!! dont even try to deny this for there is ample prof: in 2004 you openly supported the murder of four brave american soldiers in falluja. you tryed to weasel out of your responsiblity, but you cant hide the fact that you hate america and american soldiers and you love al queda and other muslim terrorists who have killed THOUSANDS OF AMERICANS!!!! and will never stop unless they are killed. and whose going to kill them? you? LOL you dont even own a gun because you leftofascists want to repel the second amendent.

(4) FACT: it is clear that you are a socialist illegal immigrant america hater. there is prima facies proof as above. and if logic and science says you are scum then you are scum (remember global warming? no proof, just science and that makes it true for you liberals) no matter what you think. however, i dont think you are a homo, just a homo enabler.

this doesnt mean that we cant have common ground. if you stop publishing antiamerican communist screeds, then i will stop hating you. fair?

sincerely yours

glenn

So many great lines.  If it's a fake, it's a daaaaaamned good one!

Oh, yay! "God 'n Guns" is a go!

Oh, and a dollar raffle for a handgun. Super!

The pastor, Ken Pagano, told us a couple of days ago that the church’s insurance company was opting out for the day, and that there was some question about whether parishioners would have to leave their guns outside. But I just spoke with Mr. Pagano, and he said he had found new insurance coverage for the day. He would not say who provided it.

They can call themselves the "Sexual Repression Values" Party...

About those family values....

Gov. Mark Sanford's admission to an extramarital affair with a woman in Argentina has sparked a debate within the backchannels of the GOP over how strongly the party should emphasize morality and religion going forward.

For decades, the GOP has used issues like respect for the sanctity of marriage and the notion of family values as a key component of its political platform and a point of divergence between Republicans and Democrats. A series of sex scandals involving high-ranking officials, however, has drastically altered that equation. And now some strategists are questioning whether the party should rethink the way it emphasizes these matters.

...
The GOP, to be certain, will never get to a point where it willfully cedes the moral high ground to Democrats. The social and religious conservatives who comprise a large and vocal portion of the base won't permit such a drift. Nor, for that matter, does it make political sense. The failings of Sanford and others, they argue, were isolated and personal events and not reflective of the party as a whole.

Ah.  I see the Republican Party stands by its overused "lone nut" defense.